It's been one week...

It's been one week since we received your referral.  It still feels very surreal.  I look at your picture over and over again to remind myself I'm not living a dream.

I bought you a dress today, no gift receipt required i might add!  How exciting to buy something for my daughter!  I love saying that ... my daughter.  Makes my heart swell.

Also shared the news with Grandma and Grandpa Kirley.  They are in Hawaii right now, so we had to tell them over FaceTime!  The tears of joy were flowing.  You are going to be one very loved little girl.  They cannot wait to meet you!  And that grandma of yours with her love to shop wasted not a minute!  You will have some adorable Hawaiian outfits to wear next summer!

Early Thanksgiving

I bought dressers for your bedroom today.  Dragged Grandpa Sabourin to help me pick them up, he was only mildly suspicious of my fabricated story!  They have been preloved a few times but I hope to make them beautiful for our girl in no time!

Later we celebrated Thanksgiving early in Ottawa.  A smoked turkey, your dad's specialty, that you will enjoy someday too I hope.  A delicious meal with Auntie Amanda, Uncle Peter, Grandpa Sabourin and my girl always on my mind!

"At times our own light goes out and is rekindled by the spark of another person...

Each of us has cause to think with deep gratitude of those who have lighted the flame within us."

- Albert Schweitzer

Referral

Love at first site!

After two and a half long years of waiting for this day we were very close to giving up and thinking it was not meant to be.  However, today I woke up from my night shift to an email entitled "CHILD PROPOSAL"  I don't think I've ever jumped out of bed and returned a phone call so fast!

After reading the sweetest little girl in the world's file, I knew immediately she was our daughter.  A little girl!!!  A baby girl for that matter!  I feel like we've won the lottery.  I don't know how we could be so incredibly lucky.  

She's absolutely perfect in every way imaginable.  And those cheeks!!!  We are in love!

Introducing...

Rao Qi Yue 

Our little Jiangxi girl!

"We loved you before we knew you, even when there was just hope for you - we loved you."

Letter of Approval

Today we received our letter of approval.  

It's a bittersweet day for me.  I've been waiting patiently for three months for this letter.  I hoped to be with Mike when we received it, to share the exciting moment together.  But today I am at my grandmother's funeral.  I'm in Timmins and Mike is in Ottawa.  The past few days I have cried many tears of sadness.  I have been spending time with family reminiscing about the wonderful memories of Grandma that I will hold in my heart forever.  Of note, that mischievous smile and her wicked sense of humour!  But through all this sorrow, today I cry tears of joy.  And I smile.  For I know Grandma had a long and wonderful life, and although the chapter of my life that she was a part of is over, a new chapter is just beginning.  And I am thankful.  Thankful that Grandma was a part of my life for so long and so very thankful that Mike and I have been given this extraordinary opportunity to adopt.    

I leave you with this.

"Family isn't always blood.  It's the people in your life who want you in theirs; the ones who accept you for who you are.  The ones who would do anything to see you smile and who love you no matter what."

Homestudy Complete

Our homestudy is officially complete!!  What a roller coaster ride it has been.  We had our first session April 22nd and our last session June 24th.  This process has been such a cathartic experience.  We have become closer and stronger as a couple and truly know we have made the right decision to pursue adoption.  

We travelled to Mississauga twice in June to complete our P.R.I.D.E training over two weekends.  Being in a room surrounded by couples who are embarking on the same journey as us was wonderful.  Being able to share our hopes and fears about adoption and realize that they are completely normal was extremely reassuring.  Of course we made a little trip of it and spent a night in downtown Toronto.  We went out to Beast for dinner, a little tapas restaurant, which was AMAZING!!!  And we couldn't leave Toronto without catching a Jays game!  Can't wait to share these experiences with our little one someday!!

GO JAYS GO!

As for the adoption agency that will complete the China portion of our adoption, we have already had to switch agencies.  Children's Bridge was providing us with inconsistent messages about China's Waiting Child program which led to me contacting Family Outreach International in early July.  The difference was night and day.  A feeling of unease had been eating away at me since our first meeting with CB that I just couldn't shake.  I kept trying to overcome the distrust I had in them, thinking I was just being paranoid.  But, in the end they did keep things from us and we couldn't imagine putting the fate of our future child in the hands of people we couldn't trust.  The feeling of ease I felt immediately when talking to Bob at FOI was unreal, something we just never felt when dealing with CB.  Mike and I knew immediately that we had to make the switch and did just that!  FOI has been amazing ever since.  We truly feel that we matter to them and are not just another number.  They are completely supportive of what we want for our family and want to help us get there.

This past month was tough waiting for our P.R.I.D.E training report to come so that our homestudy could officially be completed.  Luckily it's summer and we've been keeping busy.  We spent a week in Grand Bend with the Sabourin's, which was helpful in keeping our mind off the waiting.  Finally the report came last week and tonight we were able to sign off on our homestudy.  It's officially completed!!!  Yay!!  Now it will be sent to FOI who will review it and send it off to the Ministry of Child and Youth Services of Ontario who will ultimately grant us the approval to adopt.

This first chapter in our journey to China has been an amazing experience, full of emotions from happiness to even some sadness at times.  But, the hardest part of it all is keeping it from our families.  We are so excited to share our news with everyone.  However, we have made the decision to await our ministry approval before letting the cat out of the bag!  Luckily we did need references, one of which was my sister Jen, and I have been blessed with her patient ears that have listened to every single detail of this process!  
Thank you Jen.  I'm so lucky to have you!

Children's Bridge Information Session

Tonight Mike and I attended the Children's Bridge information session.  CB is an adoption agency headquartered here in Ottawa that does both international and domestic adoptions.  We were given the statistics and timelines to be expected from each country they deal with, as well as the current status of each country (open or closed) and waiting list length.  

We went there with no specific plan in place.  However, we knew we wanted to be parents as soon as possible, and we were leaning towards the international route since I've always wanted to adopt a child from China.  Of course, China's program has been closed for a few years now due to very lengthy wait times as a result of increasing popularity.   Also, we "thought" we had ruled out the special needs child or waiting child route.  But oh how knowledge is power!  Tonight they elaborated on the vast array of "special needs" which is sometimes nothing more than a birthmark!  They also spoke of China's Waiting Child program as one of the fastest and most reliable programs.  A family who has adopted two girls through the program came to meet the group and I think that sold us on our decision right then and there!

We left CB with feelings of happiness about our decision to pursue adoption and truly excited about China's Waiting Child program!  I believe I couldn't contain my excitement and was babbling on a mile a minute!  Luckily, Mike was pretty excited as well and eager to engage in my chatter!

I think our decision is final, we are ready to embark on the journey of a lifetime!

A great joy is coming.

Adoption Consultation

Today we met with Lori, an adoption practitioner, to discuss the process involved in pursuing adoption.  Of course, in typical Tracy fashion I had already done extensive online research and knew many of the options and steps involved.  But overall, the meeting was still very informative, especially for Mike.  It gave him the opportunity to ask lots of questions and allowed both of us to familiarize ourselves with the options and processes that would be required of us.  We both found Lori to be kind and easy to talk to and very clear in her communication regarding the long and intense process of becoming parents through adoption.

We left the meeting feeling very content about our decision to pursue adoption.

Next step: our information session at Children's Bridge!